9 Chickweed Rage

027: My Speculations on Her Mother's Species

June 5th, 2023

We could not resist the gravitational pull of the international cello competition that Amos won. You remember it, right? He and Edda got caught on camera (by a news balloon of course) having sex and then people complained that the sex tape (which everyone in the world saw) gave Amos an unfair advantage. So now we dive into the aftermath. It's 20 strips this episode, sorry guys! It's a re-match between Amos and Xiulan Yuan, and the competition will happen behind a screen and the contestants will have to switch cellos. Because of course both of those things make sense. For no good reason at all, other than Brooke McEldowney's hatred of women maybe, Edda hates Xiulan and decides to be a racist right to her face. It's fine (and funny?) I guess because Xiulan doesn't speak English. The competition happens, behind the screen, in front of an audience who paid good money to look at a screen on a stage. Instead of feeling ripped off, the audience hears Amos's cello playing and starts fucking basically. Just like always. Even people listening on a streaming broadcast end up fucking. Amos wins, of course, although he appears bored to be there for the entirety of the run. To cap it off, two nuns scissor from the joy of it. Pretty fucking typical for this comic strip.

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

Headlines explain the outrage, Juliette phones Edda in Brussels, and Amos switches cellos ARE HERE.
Seth wants Amos to "moitelize" Xiulan, Isabel Florin says an indecipherable four word phrase, and Edda quotes Rocky ARE HERE.
Amos wishes Xiulan luck, Edda is a racist, and Juliette wishes Seth wasn't gay ARE HERE.
Amos and Xiulan draw straws, Edda fogs up Amos's glasses, and we see a screen on a stage ARE HERE.
Edda plays the one-key piano filled with milk, Edda and Amos are overcome with the passion of playing, and we see their weird sex arms, too many of which are left arms ARE HERE.
Everyone listening starts fucking, second prize is awarded, and Edda flings her body toward a bored Amos ARE HERE.
Amos changes into a blue suit for the on-stage celebration and two nuns do it ARE HERE.

This episode, which was performed behind a screen, includes:

  • Winnebago Man
  • VHS
  • Cut my gums off
  • Silly Putty
  • New Math
  • "Love is in the Air" by John Paul Young
  • The World Wide Web
  • Once Upon a One More Time on Broadway
  • Ripped from the headlines
  • The Speed Cubers on Netflix
  • Turtlenecks
  • Edda's tragic baldness
  • Benjamin Franklin
  • Enslaved by the exclamation point
  • Macaroni microphone
  • Jeff Beck
  • Bugs Bunny
  • The Bowery Boys
  • Rocky
  • Sea cucumbers
  • The Bluey episode called "Pavlova"
  • The Price is Right and Truth or Consequences
  • Dutch angles
  • Two left arms
  • Full corn niblet mouth
  • Scissoring nuns

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