027: My Speculations on Her Mother's Species

Jeff Drake, Brooke Dillman — Mon, 05 Jun 2023 04:00:00 -0700

We could not resist the gravitational pull of the international cello competition that Amos won. You remember it, right? He and Edda got caught on camera (by a news balloon of course) having sex and then people complained that the sex tape (which everyone in the world saw) gave Amos an unfair advantage. So now we dive into the aftermath. It's 20 strips this episode, sorry guys! It's a re-match between Amos and Xiulan Yuan, and the competition will happen behind a screen and the contestants will have to switch cellos. Because of course both of those things make sense. For no good reason at all, other than Brooke McEldowney's hatred of women maybe, Edda hates Xiulan and decides to be a racist right to her face. It's fine (and funny?) I guess because Xiulan doesn't speak English. The competition happens, behind the screen, in front of an audience who paid good money to look at a screen on a stage. Instead of feeling ripped off, the audience hears Amos's cello playing and starts fucking basically. Just like always. Even people listening on a streaming broadcast end up fucking. Amos wins, of course, although he appears bored to be there for the entirety of the run. To cap it off, two nuns scissor from the joy of it. Pretty fucking typical for this comic strip.

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

Headlines explain the outrage, Juliette phones Edda in Brussels, and Amos switches cellos ARE HERE.
Seth wants Amos to "moitelize" Xiulan, Isabel Florin says an indecipherable four word phrase, and Edda quotes Rocky ARE HERE.
Amos wishes Xiulan luck, Edda is a racist, and Juliette wishes Seth wasn't gay ARE HERE.
Amos and Xiulan draw straws, Edda fogs up Amos's glasses, and we see a screen on a stage ARE HERE.
Edda plays the one-key piano filled with milk, Edda and Amos are overcome with the passion of playing, and we see their weird sex arms, too many of which are left arms ARE HERE.
Everyone listening starts fucking, second prize is awarded, and Edda flings her body toward a bored Amos ARE HERE.
Amos changes into a blue suit for the on-stage celebration and two nuns do it ARE HERE.

This episode, which was performed behind a screen, includes:

Winnebago Man
VHS
Cut my gums off
Silly Putty
New Math
"Love is in the Air" by John Paul Young
The World Wide Web
Once Upon a One More Time on Broadway
Ripped from the headlines
The Speed Cubers on Netflix
Turtlenecks
Edda's tragic baldness
Benjamin Franklin
Enslaved by the exclamation point
Macaroni microphone
Jeff Beck
Bugs Bunny
The Bowery Boys
Rocky
Sea cucumbers
The Bluey episode called "Pavlova"
The Price is Right and Truth or Consequences
Dutch angles
Two left arms
Full corn niblet mouth
Scissoring nuns

Talk to Us!

Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE

026: The Wattles and the Flapping Flesh

Jeff Drake, Brooke Dillman — Tue, 09 May 2023 04:00:00 -0700

Here we are introduced to 60-year-old Arthur Peel and his assistant Nan-Lin Peel (no relation), who is thirty years younger than him. Arthur excuses himself for being a disgusting old man, with a balding head, hair coming out of his ears and nose and eyebrows, wattles, and flapping flesh. These are his descriptions of himself, although Brooke Mac-El-Dee doesn't take the time to actually draw him that way. He is balding, but he has thin, very well groomed eyebrows, no visible wattles and few wrinkles to speak of. He repeats this stuff over and over to Nan-Lin, who seems bored and beaten down by his monologue. (You and us both, sister!) Of course, when Arthur adds that he is in love with her, this changes everything for Nan-Lin, who then literally crawls across a table to kiss him. Arthur, in typical Chickweed style, doesn't understand what's happening or that Nan-Lin wants his wrinkly and flapping Johnson. He looks terrified and concerned for all fourteen (yeah, sorry) of these strips. She even gets up on the table and presents her beave to him. Still, he doesn't fucking understand what's going on. Because...it's funny, I guess? Anyway, she eventually slides into his lap and then they disappear under the table. At this point, we discover that they are in a restaurant. The waiter arrives and is unfazed by their near-fucking in the booth. So much so, he takes their order, and then seats two other guests across from them. These guests, Seth and his boyfriend, don't notice that there's a couple moments away from intercourse across the booth from them. And they begin to make out too. At this point, both couples notice each other. Embarrassed (?) Arthur and Nan-Lin bolt from the restaurant, but not before Arthur gives the waiter a huge tip. The waiter then claims he's in love. Which must be a joke, but isn't funny really. And also makes no sense in any context provided. But what the fuck were we expecting anyway, right?

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

Arthur talks about his wattles and flapping flesh, Arthur talks about his wattles and flapping flesh AGAIN, and Arthur talks about his wattles but NOT his flapping flesh ARE HERE.
Nan-Lin presents her beave, Nan-Lin ends up in Arthur's lap, and Arthur and Nan-Lin end up lying down in a booth in a restaurant ARE HERE.
The waiter arrives to take their order, Nan-Lin and Arthur hear the waiter but just keep dry humping, and the waiter seats another couple opposite them ARE HERE.
Seth and Mark immediately begin to make out, Seth and Mark notice Arthur and Nan-Lin, and the waiter insists on a big tip ARE HERE.
The phrase "get a room" is uttered and the waiter falls in love with giant money ARE HERE.

This key party-adjacent episode includes:

What is the name of our favorite celebratory march?
Cell phones in cars
2008 Mercury Mariner Hybrid
Classic moment from The Man With Two Brains.
Lou Bega's Mambo No. 5.
Brooke's Broadway musical
Defibrillator
Paper pants
MRIs
Metal underwear/chastity belts/codpieces
Where "Bust a moo" originally came from.
Adam Godley
"Hot in Herre" by Nelly
McEldowney ellipsis
Ball wattles
Gilbert & Sullivan
Classical symphony orgasm
Pro-butt/Am-butt
21 Beave Salute
Motorboating
Laura Ingalls Wilder
Turtlenecks
Shrek
Bluey's "cone of shame!" episode
Throuples
The Case of the Disappearing Mustache!
Scooby Doo

9 Chickweed Rage - Episodes Tagged with “Bluey”

027: My Speculations on Her Mother's Species

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

This episode, which was performed behind a screen, includes:

Talk to Us!

026: The Wattles and the Flapping Flesh

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

This key party-adjacent episode includes:

Talk to Us!