031: Like Hookers Short on Crazy Money

Jeff Drake, Brooke Dillman — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 04:00:00 -0800

It's the big day for Xiulan Ha'Penny Yuan and Hugh Portwhistle Godalming. For some reason, Xiulan has chosen Edda to be one of her two bridesmaids, because of course and why not? Look, Edda is a small part of a wedding that isn't her wedding, so naturally she's furious that someone else is getting all the attention. She has a plan to not only "go commando" underneath her cheongsam, but to "slink up the aisle like hookers short on crazy money." She thinks this would be a fun and funny thing to do at someone else's wedding. And I guess we are supposed to be charmed by this. Oh, that Edda! Typical Edda! What's not to love about her? Seth warns her and Ginger, Xiulan's friend and the other bridesmaid, not to do what they're planning, and Edda gets very mad about it. Xiulan yells at the two of them on the way down the aisle. Edda then sticks her tongue out at Seth, again, on the way down the aisle. Once at the altar, Hugh makes exclaiming "cor lumme" when he sees Xiulan. She makes fun of him for that. At the altar. But then tells him that she and her bridesmaids (who are sitting in the pews now?) are all going commando. They talk about this for a while. At the altar. Instead of getting the wedding going. The priest interrupts and then reveals he has also gone commando. We discover that other people have gone commando too. Then for some reason the priest gets mad about it.

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

You can find all of the strips either on Twitter by clicking here or on Instagram by clicking here.

This completely underwear-free episode includes:

wing-tip collars
pet collars
"I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" by Britney Spears
Dutch angles!
Cheongsams
Very bad hand drawings
The McEldowney Ellipsis!
Going commando
Pheromones
Pig Latin
Ealing Comedies
The Church of England
Cockney Slang
Adam Godley
Astronomical ellipsis usage!
Reading glasses
Marty Feldman
Bing Crosby

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026: The Wattles and the Flapping Flesh

Jeff Drake, Brooke Dillman — Tue, 09 May 2023 04:00:00 -0700

Here we are introduced to 60-year-old Arthur Peel and his assistant Nan-Lin Peel (no relation), who is thirty years younger than him. Arthur excuses himself for being a disgusting old man, with a balding head, hair coming out of his ears and nose and eyebrows, wattles, and flapping flesh. These are his descriptions of himself, although Brooke Mac-El-Dee doesn't take the time to actually draw him that way. He is balding, but he has thin, very well groomed eyebrows, no visible wattles and few wrinkles to speak of. He repeats this stuff over and over to Nan-Lin, who seems bored and beaten down by his monologue. (You and us both, sister!) Of course, when Arthur adds that he is in love with her, this changes everything for Nan-Lin, who then literally crawls across a table to kiss him. Arthur, in typical Chickweed style, doesn't understand what's happening or that Nan-Lin wants his wrinkly and flapping Johnson. He looks terrified and concerned for all fourteen (yeah, sorry) of these strips. She even gets up on the table and presents her beave to him. Still, he doesn't fucking understand what's going on. Because...it's funny, I guess? Anyway, she eventually slides into his lap and then they disappear under the table. At this point, we discover that they are in a restaurant. The waiter arrives and is unfazed by their near-fucking in the booth. So much so, he takes their order, and then seats two other guests across from them. These guests, Seth and his boyfriend, don't notice that there's a couple moments away from intercourse across the booth from them. And they begin to make out too. At this point, both couples notice each other. Embarrassed (?) Arthur and Nan-Lin bolt from the restaurant, but not before Arthur gives the waiter a huge tip. The waiter then claims he's in love. Which must be a joke, but isn't funny really. And also makes no sense in any context provided. But what the fuck were we expecting anyway, right?

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

Arthur talks about his wattles and flapping flesh, Arthur talks about his wattles and flapping flesh AGAIN, and Arthur talks about his wattles but NOT his flapping flesh ARE HERE.
Nan-Lin presents her beave, Nan-Lin ends up in Arthur's lap, and Arthur and Nan-Lin end up lying down in a booth in a restaurant ARE HERE.
The waiter arrives to take their order, Nan-Lin and Arthur hear the waiter but just keep dry humping, and the waiter seats another couple opposite them ARE HERE.
Seth and Mark immediately begin to make out, Seth and Mark notice Arthur and Nan-Lin, and the waiter insists on a big tip ARE HERE.
The phrase "get a room" is uttered and the waiter falls in love with giant money ARE HERE.

This key party-adjacent episode includes:

What is the name of our favorite celebratory march?
Cell phones in cars
2008 Mercury Mariner Hybrid
Classic moment from The Man With Two Brains.
Lou Bega's Mambo No. 5.
Brooke's Broadway musical
Defibrillator
Paper pants
MRIs
Metal underwear/chastity belts/codpieces
Where "Bust a moo" originally came from.
Adam Godley
"Hot in Herre" by Nelly
McEldowney ellipsis
Ball wattles
Gilbert & Sullivan
Classical symphony orgasm
Pro-butt/Am-butt
21 Beave Salute
Motorboating
Laura Ingalls Wilder
Turtlenecks
Shrek
Bluey's "cone of shame!" episode
Throuples
The Case of the Disappearing Mustache!
Scooby Doo

9 Chickweed Rage - Episodes Tagged with “Adam Godley”

031: Like Hookers Short on Crazy Money

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

This completely underwear-free episode includes:

Talk to Us!

026: The Wattles and the Flapping Flesh

The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:

This key party-adjacent episode includes:

Talk to Us!